


lovely

by lumenera



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Background Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi - Freeform, Gen, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Minor Character Death, No one actually dies in the fic but one suicide is referenced, References to Depression, Suicide Attempt, it's not a fic if you don't self project, kinda bittersweet feelings I guess, please mind the tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:28:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24443617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lumenera/pseuds/lumenera
Summary: He closes his eyes and stabs a random spot on the map with his pointer finger. Three days later, a day after his birthday, he buys a one way ticket to Miyagi, not caring about the impulsivity of the decision. It’s better this way if he throws himself headfirst into it. As long as he can keep telling himself that, he’ll believe it.Akaashi intends to kill himself. Tsukishima intends to stop him.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji & Tsukishima Kei & Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 53





	lovely

**Author's Note:**

> Please mind the tags. If reading about suicide makes you uncomfortable, then stop here. There's a referenced suicide, and an attempt.

_If I wake up with a beating heart,_  
_Will I stand, or will I fall apart?_

_\- Living Louder, The Cab_

The thing about suicidal kids is they're more convinced of other people's worth than their own. Never their own worth or what they might mean to others.

He's always been a people pleaser, putting others’ wants before his own needs. He works himself to the brink to try and be what everyone makes him out to be, but it's still not enough. He's not some prodigy or genius, just Keiji. He's nothing special. He fades into the background, interesting wallpaper to make way for the spotlight of everyone else. Everyone keeps expecting him to be something great, something he's not.

Akaashi Keiji is lost in the dark and can't find his way out. And after a while, he embraces the numbness as all he will ever become.

The intellectual student extraordinaire of class 2-6, starting setter, vice captain of the boy's volleyball team. All these titles bring nothing but insurmountable pressure that grows, day by day. He doesn't know how to break it to them that he can’t live up to who they want him to be, because no matter how hard he tries, it still feels like it isn't enough.

Everyone keeps telling him that he has so much potential. If only he could see it. He is made up of lost hopes and fading memories, dreams burning up as they return from their trip into the great unknown. There is nothing to protect them as they reenter the atmosphere and descend from the sky, creating a rain made from ashes. There is nothing left for him as far as he can see.

Keiji doesn't really know how to word his emotions anymore. He goes through the same motions over and over again. Wake up. Go to morning volleyball practice. Attend class. Afternoon volleyball practice. All of it is monotone, meaningless, repetition into insanity. After all, he's doing the same things over and over again and expecting a different result, isn't he? And when he gets home, all he wants to do is sleep for a million years and never wake up, because then he wouldn't have to deal with this. But he can't, so he forces a smile for his parents and does his homework for the appearances. Forgiveness is not a kindness he allows himself to have.

Akaashi Keiji doesn't know what to do with himself. Something has to change, for the better or the worse. To be honest, he doesn't want to know which way life will take him. After all, he's just a privileged kid who doesn't have the right to feel depressed. What could be wrong with his life? He's just so tired, of nothing and everything.

At sixteen years old, Akaashi Keiji wakes up with the crushing exhaustion of not wanting to exist, because to him, it would be easier than trying so hard. All of it takes a heavy burden on him. He's looking for a way to truly disappear, somewhere, where expectations can't find him, where people don't know his name. To lose himself, perhaps.

He closes his eyes and stabs a random spot on the map with his pointer finger. Three days later, a day after his birthday, he buys a one way ticket to Miyagi, not caring about the impulsivity of the decision. It’s better this way if he throws himself headfirst into it. As long as he can keep telling himself that, he’ll believe it. 

He arrives at the station 15 minutes early and is one of the first to board the train. The compartment he picks is empty save a few businessmen dressed in suits, sitting further down in the compartment. They give him a couple of curious glances, probably wondering why a teenager is riding the train alone in the middle of the night. He’s easily the youngest one there by two or three decades. He has no luggage, no reason to be going to Miyagi and it shows, sticking out like a sore thumb. Keiji ignores the looks anyway and takes out a small spiral bound notebook from his pocket, then a mechanical pencil. He clicks it a few times until the lead pokes through. The notebook is opened to the first page, its blank surface staring back at him. He starts to write, strokes of kanji filling up the pages, erasing as necessary.

_My name is Akaashi Keiji. I am 17 years old, and I ~~live~~ lived in Tokyo, Japan. I don't know when you'll find this, but when you do, I will have been long gone. I jumped off this bridge in the middle of the night, and this will be the only thing I will leave behind until you find my body. It's for the better, really. _

_I was tired of trying to be someone that I wasn't. All the pressure really got to me, and I couldn't take it anymore. I'm sorry._

_If you find this, please send it to the address listed below, to let my parents and classmates know what happened to me. I do not regret my decision._

He reads his note once, then twice with a sickening satisfaction. Really, all of this is for the better. He is not essential. Life will go on without him. The two hour train ride passes by in a flash, and before he knows it, they’ve arrived.

When he gets off the train, he stands there, watching as it pulls away in the dark, a muted blur under the station lights. The people around him disperse, and he's left alone. He tucks the notebook and pen back to his hoodie pocket, then takes out his phone. Keiji pulls up Google Maps and searches for the nearest bridge. He could've picked a suicide forest, but he wasn't sure he had enough willpower for it. Jumping is a spur of the moment decision. Much harder to back out of. Besides, he didn’t bring anything for a suicide forest.

The bridge is about a twenty minute walk away from the station, so he shoves one hand in his pocket, using the other to hold his phone in the biting cold. On top of that, it’s started to rain. Of course he doesn’t have an umbrella; he didn’t think he’d need one. He pulls the string of his hoodie tighter, like that will do him any good, one layer of fabric between him and the falling rain. The lampposts light his way against the gentle soundtrack of the falling rain.

Luckily enough for him, the rain lets up when he reaches the bridge. Keiji turns off his phone and shoves his other hand into his pocket, trying to conserve what little heat he has left. He reaches for the railing, pulls his hand away as it comes into contact with the slick, freezing metal. Keiji uses the sleeve of his hoodie to wipe it dry. He’d prefer his last moments to be as comfortable as possible. It’s his life he’s ending, after all.

He puts one leg over the railing, then the other, hands gripping the top to keep his balance. The lampposts on the bridge aren't strong enough to illuminate the water below, but he can hear it crashing against the shore. Surprisingly, he feels at peace, sitting there. There's so much less sound out here in the countryside, compared to the hustle and bustle of busy Tokyo. He can see thousands of stars twinkling in the night sky. The air of tranquility gives way to the idea that he can think properly for the first time in months, undistracted by everything going on around him. Keiji takes a deep breath and lets himself stare at the beauty of the stars. Millions of miles away, and yet they still shine so brightly.

He shivers in the cold December air. He should've brought an actual jacket if he knew he was going to delay this long. His mind tells him to let go, but he doesn’t move an inch, just sitting there, taking it all in for the last time. He will go on his own terms.

"Don't."

Keiji nearly tumbles off then and there, hands instinctively grasping the rail tighter. Still hanging on to life, it seems. He whirls his head around. There's a tall blonde boy, probably taller than he is, standing under a lamppost. Intelligent eyes framed in black glasses glint in the light, taking him in curiously. He's dressed in a puffy jacket appropriate for the cold weather, headphones wrapped around his neck, hands in pockets.

"Don't what?" He exhales a breath, watches it dissolve into the chilly air. 

"Let's see." The boy begins to list things off his fingers. "One, you're sitting on the railing of a bridge over a raging river. The drop is at least 20 feet. Two, it's the dead of night. Three, I've never seen you around before, which means you probably don't live here. Four, you've got a slight accent. Five, it's winter and you don't have a jacket. Should I say it or will you?"

Keiji considers his options. He could bluff, but the boy has already proven to be highly observant. He isn't sure what other options he has left. He doesn’t look the boy in the eyes, not wanting to let this boy pick him apart any more then he already has.

The boy takes his silence as an answer and continues talking. "You were going to jump." It’s a statement, not a question.

Keiji shrugs his shoulders lightly, trying to be as nonchalant as possible, trying to not have his own emotions betray him to this stranger. "And if I was?”

The boy doesn't reply. He already knows the answer to that question. "Why don't you get down?" A pause. "I'll tell you what. Come to my house, stay the night. You're going to turn into a popsicle if you stay there any longer. And if you still want to jump tomorrow, I'll jump with you."

Keiji turns the words over in his hand. He can tell the boy is being sincere, but why? He doesn't understand the situation, but he knows the boy won't change his mind. They’re playing some sort of game Keiji doesn’t know the rules to, but it’s a game he can’t leave, if he accepts.

He’s close enough to catch Keiji if he jumps now, so his attempt is unlikely to go through. And with all the time-consuming deliberation his head is making right now, this might be the better choice. _And if you still want to jump tomorrow, I’ll jump with you_. The boy holds his hand out to him, and Keiji takes it, swinging his legs back over onto solid ground.

The boy sets a steady pace as they walk to his house. It's a short walk, less than five minutes, which is good, because Keiji really is freezing. The boy pushes open the door and gestures for him to come in. Warm air from the heating unit greets him.

"Sorry for the intrusion," he murmurs, taking off his shoes. At this point, his hoodie is far beyond soaking wet, and doing more harm than good, so he takes it off. Keiji rubs his arms in an attempt to warm them up faster.

"Tsukki?" Another boy descends from the stairs, rubbing his eyes. "Who is that?"

"I picked him up from the bridge," The boy--Tsukki--says dryly.

The other boy looks at him, aghast. "You brought him home and you don't know his name?”

"I didn't ask.”

The other boy sighs, shaking his head, clearly disappointed in him. He turns to Keiji. "What's your name?"

"Akaashi."

"I'm Yamaguchi, and this is Tsukishima. Nice to meet you, Akaashi-san, though I wish it could have been under better circumstances."

Keiji nods his head, a faint smile finding its way to his mouth.

"Yamaguchi, can you get him a blanket?"

Yamaguchi steals a second glance at him. Takes in his short sleeves and red cheeks, how his arms are wrapped tightly around himself. "Of course, you must be freezing." He disappears back up the stairs, and Tsukishima brings him to the kitchen, motioning for him to take a seat at the table.

"Can I interest you in something hot to drink? Milo? Tea?" Tsukishima’s standing in front of an open cabinet, hand hovering over the two options.

"Tea would be fine, if that’s not a bother."

Yamaguchi comes back with a blanket, which Keiji gratefully wraps around his shoulders. It's one of those soft, fuzzy blankets, microfiber or something like that. This one is light green with a pattern of dinosaurs on it. Tsukishima fusses over a kettle on the stovetop, and Yamaguchi joins Keiji at the table. Once it’s boiled, Tsukishima pours the hot water into a cup, then adds a tea bag to it. He then pushes the steaming mug across the table towards him along with a spoon. Keiji wraps his hands around it, feeding off of its warmth, murmuring a small thanks. Then, Tsukishima pulls out the green tin of Milo and spoons some of the powder into another mug for Yamaguchi.

“Thanks, Tsukki.” Tsukishima nods. None of them speak further. Keiji sips his tea, pleasantly surprised at how much he likes the taste. It’s not one he’s had before. Yamaguchi leans into Tsukishima’s side, and Tsukishima wraps an arm around his shoulder, bringing him closer. Keiji can’t help but get the feeling that he’s intruding on a personal moment, so he looks away and focuses on his tea, stirring it mindlessly with a spoon before taking another sip.

“I’ll help get you settled.” Yamaguchi says after they’ve finished their drinks. He and Tsukishima share a look, and some sort of wordless communication between them. Tsukishima takes their cups and starts to rinse them in the sink. Following Yamaguchi to a closet, he pulls out a futon. Keiji takes the other end and they start up the stairs, Yamaguchi leading, and him supporting the bottom. His eyes graze on the framed photographs on the wall as they pass by, family portraits and candid photos, full of life.

Yamaguchi sets his end down to open a door before motioning to him to continue carrying the futon on his end. They find room for it wedged between another futon and the desk. It’s a tight space, but they make it work. _This must be Tsukishima’s room_ , Keiji thinks, before realizing he’s probably crashed a sleepover. 

"You're not the first person he's talked off." Yamaguchi says suddenly, interrupting his thoughts. His voice catches. "It's a popular spot.”

Keiji doesn’t respond, partly because he isn’t sure how. The two of them lapse into silence. _How did Yamaguchi know he was going to jump if the only thing he knows is about the bridge?_ The door swings open, and Tsukishima enters with two blankets, an extra toothbrush, and a pillow for him. One of the blankets is the green dinosaur one, the one he left downstairs before he and Yamaguchi went to get the futon.

"If you wanted to take a hot shower, I’ve got spare clothes that should fit you."

“That would be wonderful,” Keiji says, dipping his head, and Tsukishima shows him to the bathroom with a towel.

When he's done with his shower, he finds a set of clothes waiting for him. A white t-shirt with the words Karasuno High School and a pair of grey sweatpants. He puts them on and dries his hair with the towel. Folding the rest of his clothes, he tucks them under his arm, turning off the light as he exits. He crosses the hall back to Tsukishima’s room, where Yamaguchi and Tsukishima are pressed up next to each other, hands entwined. Yamaguchi’s head is on Tsukishima’s shoulder, and they both look up when Keiji pushes open the door.

"We've got volleyball practice this morning.” Tsukishima says. “Our captain won't mind if you come along."

"Volleyball?"

"Yeah, Yamaguchi and I play. We're prepping for Interhigh--"

"Preliminaries. Yeah, I know.”

Yamaguchi’s eyebrows shoot up. “You play?”

“I’m a regular on my team,” he admits. “I play setter at my school."

“Where do you go?” Yamaguchi asks.

“Fukurodani Academy, in Tokyo.”

“I’ve heard of them. That’s a good school, isn’t it?”

“Our ace is in the top five.”

“Impressive.” Yamaguchi nods.

They take turns brushing their teeth before bed. Tsukishima turns off the light, gingerly watching where he steps to make sure he doesn’t hurt anyone. Keiji pulls the blanket up to his chin and closes his eyes. It takes a while for him to drift off, but when he does, it’s the most peaceful sleep he’s had in a long time.

He wakes to bright sunlight from the windows streaming into his face. He puts his hands over his eyes as they adjust, then sits up and looks around the room. Tsukishima’s gone, his bed made with the blankets folded at the end of the bed, his pillow on top. Yamaguchi is still sound asleep on the futon next to him. He yawns, stretches his fingers, curling and extending them a few times. Out of habit, he cracks each finger before heading off to use the bathroom, careful not to step on Yamaguchi on his way out.

Once he heads back to Tsukishima’s room, he folds up his own blanket. He closes the door softly so as to not wake Yamaguchi. Keiji starts down the stairs, freezes when he hears another voice, sharp and upset. "Kei, why is there another boy in your room? Who did you bring home?"

"Mama, I found him on the bridge." So this must be Tsukishima’s mom. His thoughts whirl about, trying to come up with a million different apologies for existing when her response cuts him off guard.

"Oh, Kei.” Just like that, the anger dissipates from her voice. He hears the sounds of shuffling around, but decides to wait a couple minutes before descending the stairs and entering the kitchen.

“Good morning, Auntie. Sorry for the intrusion.”

“No, don’t worry about it.” She waves away his concerns, spatula in hand. All the emotions he heard earlier are gone now, replaced by a kind tone and soft smile. “Stay as long as you like.”

“Oh. Thank you.” He’s taken aback, but hides the surprise on his face as well as he can.

Tsukishima leaves the kitchen and comes back with Yamaguchi in tow, who is yawning in quick succession. They eat tamagoyaki for breakfast, then the three of them walk to Karasuno. Tsukishima lends him a proper jacket, and he slips that over his hoodie.

True to Tsukishima’s word, their captain doesn’t mind the fact he’s crashing their volleyball practice.

“Nice to meet you,” Sawamura says and leaves it at that. As Keiji looks around, he can’t help but notice that they don’t have a coach. And on top of that, he counts 12 people total. Yamaguchi introduces him to the rest of the team as his and Tsukishima’s friend from Tokyo. Keiji runs the title over and over in his head. He’s been called someone’s friend before, of course, but this is the first time it finally feels like it _means_ something. _Friend_. Before his mind fully processes it, however, he’s hounded by a small first year with bright orange hair and wide brown eyes.

“I’m Hinata Shouyou, Middle Blocker!!” he says, introducing himself. “You're a setter?!?!? Can you toss to me please I want to see what your sets are like! You must be really good if you’re a starter from Tokyo, I'm thinking your sets must be like gwah and bam--" 

"Oi, Hinata, stop bothering him,” another one of their teammates calls. “You have your own setter.”

“But I want to try out different tosses!” Hinata complains, and he gets whacked on the head for his remark.

He joins them on their warm up run around Miyagi, falling in step next to Tsukishima. But when it comes to the actual practice, he lingers near their manager, unsure if they’ll let him participate. Karasuno already has two setters, so having Keiji there would just make it uneven. It’ll just be better for him to watch on the sidelines. The team runs through the usual serve and spike and receive drills. 

During their break, Hinata comes up again and asks him for a toss. Keiji finds himself obliging, and Hinata spikes each one. He’s astounded at how high he can jump, at least double his height. It’s rather impressive, really. He watches the rest of their practice with a keen eye and notices that throughout it all, Hinata appears to have the same energy level. In a way, he reminds him of Bokuto-san, but without the same mood swings. Those two would probably get along like a house on fire.

After each toss, Hinata excitedly calls for one more, and Keiji obliges, until the dark haired boy comes to drag him away. Their setter, if he remembers correctly. Hinata fights him each step of the way, but reluctantly, he heads back to his own practice. Keiji returns to his spot on the sidelines.

After practice, they go to a konbini for snacks before heading back to Tsukishima’s house. Yamaguchi insists on getting fries from McDonald’s, and Tsukishima obliges. Keiji spends the rest of the day with them. They watch some dubbed American dinosaur movie on the couch, then it’s time to eat dinner. He and Tsukishima walk Yamaguchi home afterwards. However, instead of going straight home, Tsukishima takes him to the bridge where they first met.

“I thought you wanted to go home.” Keiji says, because Tsukishima’s just watching him with a deliberate gaze, not saying a word.

“Do you still want to jump?” Tsukishima asks him.

There’s a long silence as he debates which words to say. He answers with a question of his own. “Why? Why do you care?”

He can’t quite fathom why a stranger would care. He’s not quite worth caring about.

“I watched my brother jump, six years ago.” He sucks in a breath, lets it out slowly. “His name was Atikeru.”

Tsukishima looks away, and Keiji sees him brush the corner of his eye with a finger. “He didn’t know I was there, of course. Didn’t say goodbye. Didn’t leave a note. I would’ve given anything for one more moment with him, but of course, that’s impossible.”

He isn’t sure what to say. That seems to be Tsukishima’s specialty, rendering him speechless. Keiji settles for, “I don’t have any siblings.” _No siblings to care about me if I jump._

Tsukishima affixes him with a stare and a frown, clearly telling him that he missed the point. “Would you jump with me watching?”

“Well, no--”

“What about Yamaguchi?”

“No.”

“Hinata?”

His eyes envision the vibrant, full of life middle blocker with almost relentless energy, how his eyes lit up when Keiji tossed to him. It was just a toss, but to Hinata, it was everything.

“What’s your point?” Keiji demands, because he’s tired of playing this cat and mouse game.

Tsukishima snorts. “People care about you. They don’t have to be siblings. And you care about them, obviously. I think that’s something worth living for.” He lets the words hang in the air before continuing to speak. “So, let me ask you again: Do you still want to jump?”

This is a boy who is confident in what he does, but he’s good at it and he knows it. He’s got Keiji pinned down right where he wants him. _Checkmate_.

“No,” he answers honestly.

Tsukshima smiles, slow and steady. “Good.”

At seventeen years old, Akaashi Keiji allows himself to be unreservedly loved and to unreservedly love for the first time. At seventeen, he embraces the fact that he does not need to take on the burden of pleasing the whole world on his shoulders.

“When are you going home?” Tsukishima asks him. He’s right, Keiji can’t stay there forever. He hasn’t checked his phone once during the whole ordeal, and once he does, he’ll have to answer for his actions.

“Soon, I guess.”

“You can’t run forever.”

His first instinct is to defend himself, but once again, Tsukishima is right. Of course he’s right. Keiji can’t run forever, because that’s all he’s ever done.

“Bullet trains run every hour. I’ll take one home later today.”

“We’ve got a train pass that’s about to expire. Take it.”

“Thank you. For everything.”

Tsukishima’s cheeks turn pink. “Don’t worry about it. It was nothing.” Then, “It’s late. You can stay one more night, if you’re not in a hurry.”

 _Read like an open book._ Returning home means facing reality, and to be honest, he’s not that keen on doing that as soon as possible. “I think I’ll take you up on that offer.”

Tsukishima turns and starts walking off the bridge, back to his house. Keiji follows, letting his eyes wander among the stars again. He really is going to miss the view.

They put away Yamaguchi’s futon in silence. Then, Tsukishima shows him to his brother’s room on the first floor, where the wood is spotless and the bed is empty. In the corner is a small shrine with a picture on it, a boy with dark blonde hair and a wide smile on his face.

“That’s Atikeru.”

Keiji kneels and clasps his hands together, paying his respects. Tsukishima does the same next to him. Another way of reminding him that his death will have repercussions.

They leave the room and head upstairs to go to bed.

On Sunday morning, bright and early, Yamaguchi and Tsukishima go to send him off. Tsukishima hands him the bullet train pass.

“Thank you for taking care of me,” Keiji says, bowing.

“Oh, it wasn’t a bother.” Yamaguchi replies, smiling at him. Tsukishima nods in agreement. “Be kind to yourself, Akaashi-san. You’re far too hard on yourself sometimes.”

“You can call me Akaashi,” Keiji says. They’ve been through a whirlwind, all three of them for the last 48 hours or so, and he thinks they’ve easily earned that right. “You too, Tsukishima.”

The train whistles its last call. He waves goodbye and steps onto the train. Tsukishima and Yamaguchi are holding hands as they wave back at him. He watches them from the window until the train starts to move and they blur out of sight. Keiji takes a seat and starts the long, arduous process of reading through all of his texts. He finds hundreds of messages, most of them from his parents, but there’s one or two from his teammates. Keiji didn’t know they cared. He goes through each and every one. He has the time, after all. He steps off the train, thumbing a text to Tsukishima to let him know that he made it to Tokyo. Keiji shoves his phone in his pocket, his hand brushing the notebook and pencil. He’d almost forgotten he had them. That first night felt like forever ago. He closes his eyes, running through the memories. Then, he takes his first step back into the city. Nothing about the city has changed, but at the same time, everything has.

His mother acosts him the minute he opens the door. “Where have you been? Why didn’t you reply to our text messages?”

He heads straight for his room without a response. His parents are traditional, and if there’s one thing they don’t talk about, it’s mental health. Yeah, they love him, but as far as they’re concerned, he’s perfectly healthy. He’ll come up with an excuse later.

He uses what happened in Miyagi to make himself better, giving himself space to breathe. _Be kind to yourself, Akaashi-san._ Some days are better than others, but he's trying his best, and that’s what matters most. He's not used to disappointing people, but knows at the same time that he cannot set himself on fire trying to keep others warm. There's a difference between making people happy to jumping at their every need.

He gives it four months before he buys another ticket to Miyagi.

This time, he makes sure he clicks the round trip option before he buys his ticket. He sends a picture of the confirmation email and gets an almost instant slew of exclamation points, three smiley faces and a heart. And then, _Sorry. Yamaguchi stole my phone._

He boards the train in broad daylight on a weekend with nothing to hide. His parents have okayed the trip, after a long discussion and a multitude of promises made. He leaves out the details of the bridge when he eventually tells them that he took a train ride to Miyagi.

Keiji plugs in his earbuds and enjoys the music while standing, because all the seats are taken. Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, and Hinata greet him at the station.

“Akaashi-san!” Hinata says, beaming. “Glad you could make it.”

_hello, welcome home._

**Author's Note:**

> the title lovely is taken both from twenty one pilots' [lovely](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2YGCoNfuRn4) and billie eilish's [lovely](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1Pl8CzNzCw).  
>  _won't you stay alive  
>  i'll take you on a ride  
> i will make you belive that you are lovely_  
> \- This one is more Tsukishima's point of view
> 
> _oh i hope someday  
>  i'll make it out of here  
> even if it takes all night  
> or a hundred years_
> 
>  _isn't it lovely  
>  all alone  
> heart made of glass my mind of stone  
> tear me to pieces, skin and bone  
> hello, welcome home_  
> \- This one is more Akaashi's point of view
> 
> This fic was a little self projecting on Akaashi but I'm feeling better, thanks to talking with some of my friends. As always, thank you for reading.  
> If you need to talk to someone, my dms are always open on [tumblr](https://lumenera.tumblr.com) (@lumenera) or you can use one of these sites to find mental health support or a hotline  
> [National Mental Health Alliance (US)](https://nami.org)  
> [Crisis Service Canada](https://www.crisisservicescanada.ca/en/)  
> [Mental Health Europe](https://mhe-sme.org/library/youth-helplines/)  
> [Lifeline (AU)](https://lifeline.org.au)  
> <3 Stay safe out there.


End file.
